Aug 17
I’m fat, OK?
I’ve just stepped on the weighing scale. And I screamed.
70 kgs!
I calmed down first, and I started taking my measurements. Mhm, mhm, mhm. *screams*
There I was, completely aware that I’m two three sizes bigger than I originally was in August 2007.
I’m not exactly against the idea of being fat or labeled as “Miss Fat-Ass with big boobs”, but well, I tried to reduce my weight and I succeeded, until I started getting depressed.
From January to Agust 2007, my weight declined steadily and reached my goal of 61 kgs. I was notably thinner, and was a size 13. Several factors which contributed to my weight loss was the time spent in school from 7am to 5pm, working my butt off because I’m a school councilor. (Note, it’s not counsellor. A counsellor is who you go to for counselling advice).
In August 2007, my sister left for the UK. I somehow got depressed because a huge chunk of my life just suddenly disappeared, just. like. that. Plus, other factors also contributed such as boy stress, councilor duties, exams, peer pressure and projects. A shitload of them.
I knew that I wasn’t losing weight anymore when I first checked my weight in January. I was already 65 kgs. I tried to reduce my intake of junk food, but then I realized that food portions at home were doubling and so I told my mother to reduce it. It was reduced, but unfortunately, I realized that everyday it was MEAT, MEAT and more MEAT. Vegetables had suddenly disappeared and only appeared occasionally in the form of soup. So I requested again for a diet change. My weight had by then remained at a constant 67.
Then came in my sister from UK in July and my weight escalated again. My mother began cooking all sorts of food, and everyday is like a never-ending party. Plus, the mock exams are here, so I began to feel stressed. So here I am now with the increased body size to size 16.
And this is what I do:
- When stressed, I eat.
- When upset, I eat.
- When happy, I eat.
- When bored, I eat.
- When hungry, I eat.
- When whatsoever-happens, I eat.
And that’s why I never lose weight anymore 
Anyways, I just realized that I like being the way I am. Even though I’m not drop-dead gorgeous, the friendliest and well liked or even the most anorexic slender person out there, I like being me.
I love screaming all the time, watching sad sappy love romance movies, and all those things. Those are the constituents that makes me me. Being unique is special. Even if you are not popular, a major loser, or something, someone out there still loves you for being you, and that’s the most important thing.
And this is how I’m going to boost my self esteem from now on. Apparently self esteem for me equals nil right now.
Anyways, do you find my theme boring right now? If you do, just tell me. I think that it is nearly time to change themes.