I’m fat, OK?
I’ve just stepped on the weighing scale. And I screamed.
70 kgs!
I calmed down first, and I started taking my measurements. Mhm, mhm, mhm. *screams*
There I was, completely aware that I’m two three sizes bigger than I originally was in August 2007.
I’m not exactly against the idea of being fat or labeled as “Miss Fat-Ass with big boobs”, but well, I tried to reduce my weight and I succeeded, until I started getting depressed.
From January to Agust 2007, my weight declined steadily and reached my goal of 61 kgs. I was notably thinner, and was a size 13. Several factors which contributed to my weight loss was the time spent in school from 7am to 5pm, working my butt off because I’m a school councilor. (Note, it’s not counsellor. A counsellor is who you go to for counselling advice).
In August 2007, my sister left for the UK. I somehow got depressed because a huge chunk of my life just suddenly disappeared, just. like. that. Plus, other factors also contributed such as boy stress, councilor duties, exams, peer pressure and projects. A shitload of them.
I knew that I wasn’t losing weight anymore when I first checked my weight in January. I was already 65 kgs. I tried to reduce my intake of junk food, but then I realized that food portions at home were doubling and so I told my mother to reduce it. It was reduced, but unfortunately, I realized that everyday it was MEAT, MEAT and more MEAT. Vegetables had suddenly disappeared and only appeared occasionally in the form of soup. So I requested again for a diet change. My weight had by then remained at a constant 67.
Then came in my sister from UK in July and my weight escalated again. My mother began cooking all sorts of food, and everyday is like a never-ending party. Plus, the mock exams are here, so I began to feel stressed. So here I am now with the increased body size to size 16.
And this is what I do:
- When stressed, I eat.
- When upset, I eat.
- When happy, I eat.
- When bored, I eat.
- When hungry, I eat.
- When whatsoever-happens, I eat.
And that’s why I never lose weight anymore 
Anyways, I just realized that I like being the way I am. Even though I’m not drop-dead gorgeous, the friendliest and well liked or even the most anorexic slender person out there, I like being me.
I love screaming all the time, watching sad sappy love romance movies, and all those things. Those are the constituents that makes me me. Being unique is special. Even if you are not popular, a major loser, or something, someone out there still loves you for being you, and that’s the most important thing.
And this is how I’m going to boost my self esteem from now on. Apparently self esteem for me equals nil right now.
Anyways, do you find my theme boring right now? If you do, just tell me. I think that it is nearly time to change themes.
Meheheh, I ate a lot during the summer and my leg muscles are getting jiggly. Meep. My metabolism is slowing disappearing!
*hugs* I know what you’re going through and it suck big time. I managed to reduce my weight, but well it’s not quite the best method out there. If you want I can tell you what I did… however, working out and just eating varied meals is a much better option. Lasts longer and is better for your body.
Maybe you should try to make your own meals. I know it’s very hard to do so when everyone around you eats the stuff you love (grumbleschipsgrumbles), but in the end it’ll pay off.
However I will tell you one thing: getting thinner doesn’t necessarily give you self esteem. I can now wear almost all my clothes I love so much BUT I’m dead tired, and do absolutely nothing aside work and watch anime.
I still like this theme! But change is always good : )
I know what you mean about eating. When I’m stressed or unhappy or bored I tend to eat alot, but it’s all junk food and snacks. No veg, protein or much substance. So in the end it’s not really eating. I’ve lost alot of weight due to that. Not eating does mean you lose weight!
But it also has reprecussions and it makes one feel rubbish. Being skinny and losing weight sometimes isn’t a good thing.
So I don’t think there’s anything wrong with your weight. There’s no need to be a stick to look good. I think sometimes people are too skinny or too obsessed with it. Just be confident as you are really. anyone looks good when they have confidence. And if you want to eat make sure you eat well, so even if you don’t lost weight you’ll still look good as you’ll be healthy. Besides, Check your BMI, you’ll probably find you are a healthy weight for you’re proportions.
That happened to me when I started my job a year and a half ago… I just ate and ate and didn’t care about what I was eating, not to mention I sit in front of a computer all day so think about how bad that is! =S
We all go through our ups and downs and a lot of us, it’s reflected through our vision of weight as well. I’m the same way, actually I just eat all the time PERIOD. I was very upset that I gained after I got back from Panama, but motivation!! Change is always good in life, I just rearranged whatever I can in order to feel better about changing in my life. ^_^
I like this layout but I think change is good, maybe different one would uplift your mood as well!
Don’t worry, dear. You still look cute to me. (:
Anyway, we all have our ups and downs. (Likewise, the weighing scale also goes up and down for me. :P) Perhaps one way is to channel your energy into something else other than eating. From what I see, you’re an individual who loves to write, and design. (: So perhaps venting those frustrations into your writing or designs (especially design!) might be good for you!
Don’t be depressed! We’re all here rooting for you! -Hugs.
I think we all do that. I eat a lot and usually avoid gaining weight by talking long brisk walks. In the end, what matters is that you’re happy with yourself.
I like the current design, but if you have something up your sleeve, I’m definitely looking forward to seeing it.
I’m the opposite to you… I’m like quite thin and the last time I weighed myself, I was about like 36-37kg…-__-;;
Contrary to what people believe, I do eat and as of lately (past few months..) have been eating quite a lot of junk food and like actually eating! Haha..
First of all, I love your theme. It’s simple but not boring (like mine).
I think it’s great that you have decided to be happy with yourself no matter your size. I think so long as you are happy with yourself and aren’t in medical danger, then good for you.
I’m like you .. I eat due to everything. The key is.. eat fruits and vegetables instead of large quantities of things.. it may help you out. If that’s what you already do take a 20 minute walk every evening and see how that is. Don’t pressure yourself to be tiny, it’s not worth it. Just be healthy!